I Think You Should Quote

I Think You Should Leave Quote Database

• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Yeah, it's a wreath. The guy at the store said he has the same one. He said it works great.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  If you love it as much as you say you do, and as much as you have been saying... then it shouldn't be a problem if I take the receipt back.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  You'd be fine if I ate it?

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  You said you liked the gift. So you wouldn't have any qualms if I ate the gift receipt and it didn't exist anymore. Right, Rick? Right, Melissa?

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Down the hatch, bon appétit.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  I hate to do this, but I'm afraid our gracious host didn't wipe properly.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  When you went to the bathroom earlier to do the mud pie... you must have used too small of a slice of toilet paper when you wiped, and you got mud pie on your hands, and then you touched the receipt, and then I ate the receipt, and now I'm sick off of your mud pie.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  No, I eat paper all the time!

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  What I don't like to make a habit of doing is eating mud pie!

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  But it can't be Jacob, 'cause he's gonna pretend he's not sick even if it's caked in pure shit.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  And Jacob doesn't touch it!

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Then let my wife eat the fucking receipt.

  - Rick
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Jacob, don't you get anywhere near that!

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  You son of a bitch!

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Exactly!

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  You piece of shit!

  - Rick
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Somebody call 911. Tell 'em to send an ambulance. Tell 'em it's... the ugly house on Kenmore. The one where you can see the KFC sign through their front window.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Everybody, let's get out of here. This place is covered head-to-toe in shit.

  - Rick
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  All you had to do... was like the gift... and not have a big old mud pie on the bottom of your butt. It's not a big deal. You had a big mud pie, you had too small of a slice, then I ate the mud pie, now my stomach's absolutely fucked.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  Shouldn't have had such a sloppy mud pie.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  You should know... your wife kissed me on the cheek when I got here. Now look at you... all alone. Everybody's going to party at my house.

  - Lev
  

  

  
• Gift Receipt, Season: 1, Ep: 1

  meme it

  
  

  I just... I was just trying not to use a ton of paper towel.

  - Jacob